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Some granny moments.
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It's funny how when you're older, everyone in your life seems so much more important.
I remember when my grandpa passed away 14 years back, i was more freaked than anything. For nights i had nightmares haunting me and i slept in my parents' bedroom for a couple of weeks.
These days, i'm surprised to find myself thinking of granny on several occasions. It's been 2 months since she left and there are times when i find myself thinking about her on long bus rides. I thought of her last days in the hospital, how weak she looked, how soft and saggy her skin felt.
That one saturday when i visited her in the hospital, she was real sick. She couldn't breathe properly and was constantly trying to force the phlgme out of her throat. She talked with a weird slur and sis and i couldn't understand her. Granny kept massaging her chest and so i decided the least i could do was to help her. Unbottoning the top of her pink hospital shirt, i poured some medicated oil on her chest and rubbed till she fell asleep.
That was probably the closest i ever got to granny. When i was younger, i used to stay over at granny's with my cousins during the hols. We would mess up the room and she'll be fuming mad and running around, chasing us with a bolster in hand. But as we grew older, the cousins drifted apart and we only met up like a couple of times per month whenever we go visit granny. As she grew older, touch got more important to her. I always held her hands when i go see her and she'll pat it and ask about school. In my half-bucket teochew and her half-bucket mandarin, we somehow communicated.
I miss her. Unexpectedly much. There's still this slight tinge of regret that i shouldn't have waited one more day to visit her. Argghhh. But enough said, it's always the same story ain't it? You never know what you've got till it's gone.
And so tonight while i was stoning in front of the teevee, granny infiltrated my thoughts again.
I probably won't be the grandchild she misses most, but you know what granny? You're the grandparent i miss the most.
posted by alienresident at
3:42 AM
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The Alienworld |
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Holiness redefined
Gorgeousness redefined
Pleasure redefined |
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Lyric of the month |
Travis - Flowers in the Window
There's no reason to feel bad
But there are many reasons to feel glad, sad, mad
Its just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold
But i am here to help you with the load.
Wow look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day
And i am glad that you feel the same
Cause to stand up i'm in the crowd
You're one in a million
And i love you so, so lets watch the flowers grow.
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